Bush is gonna talk tuff with Iran.
Have you noticed fox has been scrolling the "terror alert level" across their screen lately? I told ya.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Unbelievable
we're starting to see all the bullshit "terror" situations generated by the bush whitehouse in order to try and keep Americans scared. Yesterday, it was all day coverage of a woman who freaked out on a plane. All the news channels said she had "vaseline, matches and literature linked to al-queda. After further review, the story died as fast as it came when it was descovered she had nothing.
Fox has started issuing the "red alert, terror warning high" signs again, just like I said they would. What has this country come too?
Fox has started issuing the "red alert, terror warning high" signs again, just like I said they would. What has this country come too?
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Broken
If you need something fixed, don't call these guys, but if you need something broken, shrub is the guy to call. They've broken everything they've touched.
Condo
Condo just can't admit there is a civil war in Iraq. But then again, I've never heard anyone in the Shrub administration admit to anything.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
This is beautiful
WASHINGTON, June 26, 2006
President Bush appears to be losing support among a key group of voters who had hitherto stood firmly with the President even as his poll numbers among other groups fell dramatically.
A new Gallup poll shows that, for the first time, Bush's approval rating has fallen below 50% among total fucking morons, and now stands at 44%.
This represents a dramatic drop compared to a poll taken just last December, when 62% of total fucking morons expressed support for the President and his policies.
The current poll, conducted by phone with 1,409 total fucking morons between June 14 and June 18, reveals that only 44% of those polled Believe that the President is doing a good job, while 27% believe he is doing a poor job and 29% don't understand the question.
The December poll, conducted by phone with 1,530 total fucking morons, showed 62% approved of the President, 7% disapproved and 31% didn't understand the question.
Faltering approval ratings for the President among a group once thought to be a reliable source of loyal support gives Republicans one more reason to be nervous about the upcoming mid-term elections. "If we can't depend on the support of total fucking morons," says Sen. Rick Santorum(R-PA), "then we've got a big problem. They're a key factor in our electoral strategy, and an important part of today's Republican coalition."
"We've taken the total fucking moron vote for granted," says Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), "and now we're paying for it. We've let the Democrats control the debate lately, and they've dragged discourse back into the realm of complex, nuanced issues. So your average total fucking moron turns on his TV and sees his Republican Congressman arguing about Constitutional law or the complexities of state formation in the Middle East, and he tunes out. He wants to hear comforting, pandering, flattering bromides and he doesn't want to hear a logical argument more complex than what you'd find on a bumper sticker."
For Feeney, the poll is a dire warning that Republicans can ignore only at their peril. "This should send a signal that we have to regain control of the debate if we want the support of our key constituencies in the coming election and beyond. We need to bring public discourse back into the realm of stupidity and vacuity. We should be talking about homosexual illegal immigrants burning flags. We should be talking about the power of pride. We should be talking about freedom fries.
These are the issues that resonate with total fucking morons."
But some total fucking morons say it's too late. Bill Snarpel of Enid, Oklahoma is a total fucking moron who voted for Bush in both 2000 and 2004. But he says he won't be voting for Bush in 2008. "I don't like it that he was going to sell our ports to the Arabs. If the Arabs own the ports then that means they'll let all the Arabs in and then we'll all be riding camels and wearing towels on our heads. I don't want my children singing the Star Spangled Banner in Muslim."
Total fucking moron Kurt Meyer of Turlock, California also says his once solid support for Bush has collapsed. "He invaded Iraq and all those soldiers died, and for what? We destroyed all their WMDs, but now their new president is making fun of us and saying he's going to build nuclear bombs and that we can't stop him. Well, nuclear bombs are even worse than WMDs, so what did we accomplish?"
Laura McDonald, a total fucking moron from Chandler, Arizona, says she is disappointed that the President hasn't been a more forceful advocate of Christian values. "This country was founded on Christian values," she says, "but you'd never know it looking around and seeing all the Mexicans running around. I thought Bush was going to bring Jesus back into the government. Instead, Christians are being persecuted worse than ever before in history, because all these Mexicans come here and tell Christians that we have to respect their religious beliefs. So now it's illegal for children to pray in school. Soon it will be illegal for them to speak English."
Not all total fucking morons have turned their backs on the President. Jeb Larkin of Topeka, Kansas says he still fully supports Bush. "He is doing a great job. He is a great president. He is a great decider. I have a puppy. His tail sticks straight up and you can see his butthole."
And not all Republican lawmakers are concerned about the poll. Sen.Lamar Alexander (R-TN), for one, does not find it a cause for anxiety. While he agrees that his party should not take total fucking morons for granted, they "really don't have anywhere else to go. They're never going to be able to understand someone like Al Gore or John Kerry or anybody intelligent and articulate who wants to talk about substantive issues. Just try having a conversation with one of them about global warming. They'll say, 'Oh, but Rush says volcanoes consume more ozone than humans do.' I mean, they're morons! Total fucking morons!"
"They've got nowhere else to go," Alexander reaffirms with a smile, "and they always vote."
President Bush appears to be losing support among a key group of voters who had hitherto stood firmly with the President even as his poll numbers among other groups fell dramatically.
A new Gallup poll shows that, for the first time, Bush's approval rating has fallen below 50% among total fucking morons, and now stands at 44%.
This represents a dramatic drop compared to a poll taken just last December, when 62% of total fucking morons expressed support for the President and his policies.
The current poll, conducted by phone with 1,409 total fucking morons between June 14 and June 18, reveals that only 44% of those polled Believe that the President is doing a good job, while 27% believe he is doing a poor job and 29% don't understand the question.
The December poll, conducted by phone with 1,530 total fucking morons, showed 62% approved of the President, 7% disapproved and 31% didn't understand the question.
Faltering approval ratings for the President among a group once thought to be a reliable source of loyal support gives Republicans one more reason to be nervous about the upcoming mid-term elections. "If we can't depend on the support of total fucking morons," says Sen. Rick Santorum(R-PA), "then we've got a big problem. They're a key factor in our electoral strategy, and an important part of today's Republican coalition."
"We've taken the total fucking moron vote for granted," says Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), "and now we're paying for it. We've let the Democrats control the debate lately, and they've dragged discourse back into the realm of complex, nuanced issues. So your average total fucking moron turns on his TV and sees his Republican Congressman arguing about Constitutional law or the complexities of state formation in the Middle East, and he tunes out. He wants to hear comforting, pandering, flattering bromides and he doesn't want to hear a logical argument more complex than what you'd find on a bumper sticker."
For Feeney, the poll is a dire warning that Republicans can ignore only at their peril. "This should send a signal that we have to regain control of the debate if we want the support of our key constituencies in the coming election and beyond. We need to bring public discourse back into the realm of stupidity and vacuity. We should be talking about homosexual illegal immigrants burning flags. We should be talking about the power of pride. We should be talking about freedom fries.
These are the issues that resonate with total fucking morons."
But some total fucking morons say it's too late. Bill Snarpel of Enid, Oklahoma is a total fucking moron who voted for Bush in both 2000 and 2004. But he says he won't be voting for Bush in 2008. "I don't like it that he was going to sell our ports to the Arabs. If the Arabs own the ports then that means they'll let all the Arabs in and then we'll all be riding camels and wearing towels on our heads. I don't want my children singing the Star Spangled Banner in Muslim."
Total fucking moron Kurt Meyer of Turlock, California also says his once solid support for Bush has collapsed. "He invaded Iraq and all those soldiers died, and for what? We destroyed all their WMDs, but now their new president is making fun of us and saying he's going to build nuclear bombs and that we can't stop him. Well, nuclear bombs are even worse than WMDs, so what did we accomplish?"
Laura McDonald, a total fucking moron from Chandler, Arizona, says she is disappointed that the President hasn't been a more forceful advocate of Christian values. "This country was founded on Christian values," she says, "but you'd never know it looking around and seeing all the Mexicans running around. I thought Bush was going to bring Jesus back into the government. Instead, Christians are being persecuted worse than ever before in history, because all these Mexicans come here and tell Christians that we have to respect their religious beliefs. So now it's illegal for children to pray in school. Soon it will be illegal for them to speak English."
Not all total fucking morons have turned their backs on the President. Jeb Larkin of Topeka, Kansas says he still fully supports Bush. "He is doing a great job. He is a great president. He is a great decider. I have a puppy. His tail sticks straight up and you can see his butthole."
And not all Republican lawmakers are concerned about the poll. Sen.Lamar Alexander (R-TN), for one, does not find it a cause for anxiety. While he agrees that his party should not take total fucking morons for granted, they "really don't have anywhere else to go. They're never going to be able to understand someone like Al Gore or John Kerry or anybody intelligent and articulate who wants to talk about substantive issues. Just try having a conversation with one of them about global warming. They'll say, 'Oh, but Rush says volcanoes consume more ozone than humans do.' I mean, they're morons! Total fucking morons!"
"They've got nowhere else to go," Alexander reaffirms with a smile, "and they always vote."
Bush and lightbulbs
HOW THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION CHANGES A LIGHT BULB
>
> How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a
> light bulb?
>
> 1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
>
> 2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs
> to be changed;
>
> 3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
>
> 4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret
> stockpile of light bulbs;
>
> 5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
> new light bulb;
>
> 6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing
> on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;
>
> 7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in
> detail how Bush was literally in the dark;
>
> 8. One to viciously smear #7;
>
> 9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has
> had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
>
> 10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between
> screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
>
> BUSH LIGHT BULB JOKE (Alternative)
>
> Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a
> light bulb?
>
> A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are
> improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are
> delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served
> honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do
> you hate freedom?
>
> How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a
> light bulb?
>
> 1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
>
> 2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs
> to be changed;
>
> 3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
>
> 4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret
> stockpile of light bulbs;
>
> 5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
> new light bulb;
>
> 6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing
> on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;
>
> 7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in
> detail how Bush was literally in the dark;
>
> 8. One to viciously smear #7;
>
> 9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has
> had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
>
> 10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between
> screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
>
> BUSH LIGHT BULB JOKE (Alternative)
>
> Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a
> light bulb?
>
> A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are
> improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are
> delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served
> honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do
> you hate freedom?
Monday, July 24, 2006
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